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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

A Little about Love

After several attempts on the dating/ courting circuit, I guess you kind of learn what you are looking for and what immediately says, "o-m-g stay away!"
So, hopefully this guide proves helpful if the advice of your "friends" fail.

He should....
  1. Open Doors- Car, Building, anything
  2. Compliment you- Beautiful, Charming, Sweet, Pretty, Nice, Adorable, etc. are good :)
  3. Act like you're his girlfriend!- Put his arm around you, bring you flowers sometimes, and just do things to show that he cares.
  4. PAY- Yes, guys should ALWAYS be the ones to whip out the wallet! Unless it's his birthday, etc. then you may pay :)
He should not...
  1. Let you pay.
  2. Put you down. EVER. Even if he says "jk jk" that's like saying "I'm breaking up with you!" as a joke. not cool.
  3. Disrespect you. If you say you don't like something or are uncomfortable, don't allow him to badger you into it. Make him respect your thoughts, and needs.
  4. Flirt with other girls. Okayyy some girls may let this go. But part of trust in a relationship is KNOWING he won't do anything stupid.
  5. Keep you under lock and key. This is very bad. Girls get possessive, guys say- I'm done. Guys get possessive, girls should not play along.
  6. Ditch you for his friends. Guys should have guy time. But if you find every date is going to Dino's for him to get the wing special, maybe he is looking for more of a friend than a serious relationship. A Boyfriend should take into consideration where you like to go, what you like to eat, etc.

Now that we dealt with how the Boyfriend should act, the next logical step is to discuss the Girlfriend :)
Every girl, even if she doesn't admit it, wants a happy home with a nice guy she loves and who appreciates her and loves her back :)

  • Seem Desperate- ever!!!!- guys looking for a serious relationship don't like seeing things like "Oh em gee! I'm going to die because I'm single!" or facebook statuses that denote something like being broken up, or being mad at someone. You know.... the feel sorry for yourself statuses, etc.
  • Feel the need to wear everything short and tight. It's really like using bad tuna to attract limp and scruffy alley cats.
  • Play hard to get. The only thing you'll end up with is confusion, and real guys get sick of that quick.
  • Let guys push you around. Drunkenness, "Guy's Night", etc. I don't care what time it is, you should always have respect!
  • Lastly, Don't do anything you wouldn't do in front of your parents. Take this as you will, you know what I mean! lol Real guys will respect you in all matters.
It may seem very difficult to deal with them sometimes. Try to cut them some slack sometimes, if they are running late, etc. Guys aren't perfect, but we try to make them as close to perfect as possible. If you feel like your guy takes you away from your friends, feels the need to check all your messages, or always wants "alone time" - it's time to move on.

Honestly, what kind of a relationship revolves around "alone time" all-the-time? Of course you need to have time together to talk about important things, etc. but too much alone time is never a good thing; even for the most prudent of people.

One way to figure out about a guy: facebook! Childish? Maybe. Accurate? Yes. See how he chats with other people, what do his bumper stickers look like, what does his info say, what is he looking for in a relationship??? and PICTURES! If you see things you aren't thrilled with, you can ask him, or maybe he isn't for you afterall. But facebook is definitely one honest way of finding out about someone. (but don't take everything you see to heart)

Another good way to find out about guys: Friends! friends you trust can be a nice way to get to know guys, even if they just become friends. Ask your friends what they think about him; if they are honest, they'll tell you what they really think, and give you a good idea from an "outsider's perspective".

Your parents are also good. Mom's really do know best. If your parents realllyyyyy don't care for your latest boy, it's time to stand back and evaluate. why? can it be worked on? Choosing someone based on looks ad money is not good. People loose money all the time, and saggy skin.... well, that just is part of life!

If not, do save yourself some trouble. If you really aren't crazy about him (or if you are in love with his looks or money), if you know or get the feeling from him that his mind is not where it needs to be- it's time to go. Don't be afraid of breaking up. In my opinion, if you were "together" and you find that you just don't see yourself marrying him, don't waste time. It's not fair to either of you.

Unicorns, Lollipops, and Funnel Cakes <3

You're not gonna reach my telephone-  

Actually, they should reach your telephone! One of the most important parts of a good relationship is C o m m u n i c a t i o n.


is nice, but it should not be the center of your chatting. it's convenient for a quicky question, though.

is also nice, but doesn't really qualify as interaction...

Chat rooms and AIM-
mmm no, poor form of communication right there. unless you want to be like Napoleon Dynamite's brother "[because] things are getting pretty serious, we chat online for 4 hours a day."

Ahhhh yes. fairly modern invention, but also coming out of style in a sense. Hearing someone laugh is much nicer than seeing a little :) & LOL! under an email. sooo, pick up the phone, and CALL. I promise it won't kill you.

Yes!!! Above all, show you care by visiting, talking to the parents, etc. etc. you will never know how much it means to your bf or gf to have their parents say "oh isn't he/she so respectful"

You will also want to communicate when you are out. Don't constantly be on your phone, computer, etc. how annoying to the other person- not to mention, they will wonder who is more important than them.......
Chat over dinner, shopping, etc. the movies are fun, but what solid conversation comes from sitting in a dark room with 3-D glasses on? :)
Now not every convo needs to be life or death, but certainly you should bring things up as they bother you. Don't let everything get under your skin, but if it is something you really dislike, etc. don't wait to talk.

Slushies with Pink Straws,  <3

When a guy says "Your Hot"
......he's looking at your BODY.

When a guy says "Your Pretty"
......he's looking at your FACE.

When a guy says "Your Beautiful"
......he's looking at your HEART.

☂ – Don't let the rain get your hopes down!
☀- Because the sun aLwAyS comes OuT!


Biting, a New Issue to Contend With....  
Of course everyone wants a mystery. Rather than going for the star struck, handsome man with the limo.....we choose the dark, mysterious man with the fangs. Why? It's a freak of cultural norms. duh.
If someone walked around town with extremely pale skin AND fangs AND glowing eyes AND a eerily quiet demeanor-- I think most people would stare and be afraid. However, due to the extreme stretching of "loving our neighbors as ourselves," I believe we have been blocked from the real identity of one of the culture's most odd and creepy characters....
*drum roll* EDWARD CULLEN!
but whatever inside of the teens and young people today that screams for this distinctive character.... is different.
A few years ago, biting was seen as something dogs do who have fleas.
Today, it is seen as one way to show "affection", or so it has been labeled as.
Please read what ABC News has found out regarding the up and coming spreading of "love biting."
What are your thoughts?
Sparks says it All ..... again.
So today I was searching for quotes for my facebook... and i found some of the notebook i thought were impressive. then i started thinking...
doesn't everyone think their love is nicholas sparks' style?

of course they do.

but i wanted to take a moment to point out something. something very important that i am sure you already know. if you dont that's okay too, because it never hurts to learn new things that are good for you :)

"You're going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it's always their actions you should judge them by. It's actions, not words, that matter." ~ Nicholas Sparks

remember this, dear friend of mine. i know that you are beautiful, handsome, intelligent, and caring.

but today love is so out of wack that, honestly, every magazine and billboard has some wonderful new and exciting offer on how to improve your life.

did anyone ever tell you that improvement does not have to involve you sleeping together to be happy?

"I finally understood what true love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be." ~ Nicholas Sparks

i cannot stress the importance of happiness. and i will tell you right now, the happiness of the other person does not consist of sex. just making sure we are all on the same blog entry here.

Many people do not realize, or have not be told the incredible gift they give, or the indelible mark it leaves on the soul when we say we love someone.

"i love you. I've come to understand is more than three words mumbled before bedtime." ~Nicholas Sparks

i challenge you, reader. Friend.

save yourself starting today. if you haven't been doing so all along.

if you fall get back up and keep going.

and see who really deserves your heartfelt "I love you" on your wedding day.

band aids. peace. and prayers.

i've heard stories. i have not judged. i have questioned people, however.
  • you aren't comfortable with something or someone but they don't take no as an answer...
  • eventually you realize napping/cuddling together is what your relationship consists of.....
  • sex is everything. it's the only thing..... 
  • you are constantly bending rules, breaking rules, or telling lies ... 
  • you find yourself feeling guilty because he/she gives you a hard time- all the time...
  •  you feel like you aren't worth 2 cents.....
  • you are cheated on..... 
  • you have to orchestrate everything: he'll pay... but you plan, prep, and and even meet him halfway to get there....
i am truly sorry, but if you think for one second any of these things are okay.... they aren't.
it is so disheartening to think, friend, that you or someone you know feels like this.....
help them if you can, don't ever judge them.....
if this list describes your relationship- i hope you read through the reste (up and down) entries here and see what should be expected of a healthy relationship.
that is important. and discussing your views and opinions openly is even of greater importance :)


Q: My boyfriend lies to me. It was never anything to bad until, like now. I'm afraid when he goes away he is really with other girls and I have know idea what to do. Cmnts? Suggests?

 A: Hi! and I appreciate your question. For those of us who have dealt with situations like this before, I know that it is hard to trust once something like that happens.  If you have evidence, let him know that you are unhappy with what he is doing. Don't try to "trap" him into a lie- but by talking about things I am sure you can straighten it out! If the lying gets persistent or he starts lying about serious things, I would tell him that you are not going to sit back and waste your time figuring out when he is lying and when he isn't. Give him a warning, and if he doesn't listen, break it off. If you aren't worth the truth to him, he isn't worth any more of your time. 
Taking less than you pay for just isn't an option.  

I understand it's hard to be in the midst of people when you have different standards than the rest.  It's never easy to go through a magazine and not be affected by it. So, I have added a piece from my diary to illustrate :

I have been politely told that: 1) I am intimidating to guys because I am outgoing. 2) That I have too high of standards. 3) That I could have a boyfriend if I really wanted to, because i'm the "whole deal" I'm funny, cute, sweet, etc. Well, i am here to let you all know three things which I am not going to tell you politely: 1) If you are intimidated by me, there's the door. 2) If my standards are too high, yours must be too low- or you are desperate. 3) You are completely right. I could have a boyfriend if I wanted to. But I am not the flirt and flight- I am looking for the complete package.

I will make a short disclaimer about myself: 

"Hi! and thank you for wanting to date me. I appreciate your flirtatious attitude and your pretending to care anything about me, but i need to warn you of somethings. I do not offer sex for free or payment-you need to marry me for that.  No you are not allowed to take naps with me- i will send my dogs after you if you try. No, I have not had thousands of boyfriends- but being mine is a rigorous process and contest. Many will enter, Few will attempt, one will win. Thanks for playing the Dating game and good luck!"

I am well aware that the idea of being chaste is a hard enough pill to swallow for most guys... i can admit it is difficult for me sometimes too. But i can assure you that in the end it's far worth it. 

peace, love, and tiffany rings :)

 Friends After Love?  
Q: My Ex and i are still friends and go out with a group sometimes, i told my boyfriend i go out with a group of friends, but i didn't get specific and tell him who was in the group. Should i say something? I mean, he might feel like i've been lying if i don't say anything right?

A:Well, I could see where you are coming from. But think about if he were doing that to you? What kind of response would you give if your boyfriend was hanging out with his ex in a group and not giving you specifics? Although I do not think you need to tell him " hi honey we are going to get dinner, go to a club, come home, watch a movie, and then I'm leaving" I think telling him " I just want you to know that me and ___ still talk sometimes and are friends...."  will cover it. But, your end of the deal is not hanging out every weekend with your ex like you'd hang out with your boyfriend, or a girlfriend. That is when things can get too close to the edge....

When trouble arises...
Not everyone understands how to be the caring person you need at certain times. Please see this list for numbers to call :

Rape, Abuse, Incest-
(800) 656-HOPE

Covenant House Nine-Line

 Runaway children, drugs, abuse, etc.

Child Abuse Hotline

 the Grand Canyon seems like a Fantastic Idea....  

I was walking on the edge of a steep drop off by a trail. I didn't want to fall down, but I was looking over as far as I could to see what was down there. a few rocks tumbled down the drop off... but I didn't think anything of it, because each time I walked this trail - I went a little closer to the edge...

I use this example as so many others have.

I give you a scenario.... because I believe you are smart enough to figure it out and use it later:

You and your boy friend or girl friend are walking along the Grand Canyon. Neither of you want to fall over the edge, but you are holding your girlfriend or boyfriend closer and closer to the wide gap of the Canyon cliff. You do not intend to drop him or her off the cliff, you just want to hold them as close as possible to the edge...the closer you get, the more dangerous it becomes.....what do you do if you accidently slip and fall off the cliff?

What can you relate this to? A few things come to mind, most especially your relationship. The farther you go, the closer you are to the edge! It is up to you to decide your "line" .... the place where you reach that says stop.

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Comments and Questions? Yours are always welcome and appreciated! :)