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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

A Friend in Need- is a Friend Wanting to Talk

Today my girlfriend (my friend who is a girl, and yes i am a girl, and no i am not a les.) approached me. She asked me about her boyfriend who is super sweet. He buys her things, he dresses respectably, he is courteous to his family, but- i quote- "[she] doesn't know if [she] really misses him."

So we sat down at a lunch table and ordered some food. I ordered a bowl of wedding soup and breadsticks, with a small Diet Coke. She ordered a Burger with tomato, lettuce, and mayo with Baked Lays on the side- and a Diet Coke also.

"How long have you been dating?"

"almost 6 months"

"Do you think about him alot of the day? Do you wish you were with him when you aren't? Do..."

"Well yeah- not really- i can't be positive. I used to, I just don't know."

" Is it that you spend more time being aggravated by little things and not being able to bring yourself to enjoy the relationship?"

"Not really, I don't get irritated and annoyed too much.... I do sometimes, but I try not to all the time..."

Drinks. After taking quite a large "sip" of my glass, and she of hers, we continued unraveling what she couldn't seem to say...

"What annoys you? Gimme the first thing off the top of your head."

"Indecisive. Always.... back and forth, back and forth. I can't get angry at that- it's who he is. But it is very annoying to be on the waiting end!"

"Yeahhh i bet. Well, I know you said this before, can you still see yourself maybe marrying him?"

"Uh, some days, yeah. Some days, not really. I think I'd spend so much time making decisions for him I would never have time to make any for myself!"

Of course she chuckled when she said that, I picked up on the sarcasm in her voice.

But, alas, another breach of communication driven by--- soup and burgers and breadsticks and Coke refills. 
After breaking from Boy Talk and catching up on the rest of the day and weekend plans, the conversation rolled around to him again...

" At first, I loved talking. I loved it because it was so easy to talk to him. It was never awkward or weird... we could talk for an hour or more! Now, i feel like I have to force myself to call him and talk- but I am busy, and when he doesn't have anything to say, what am I supposed to do? Sit there on the line and listen to him talk to his fish?"

"Well usually people who are crazy in love just like listening to the other person ramble about nothing.... sometimes that isn't true, but you are busy and that makes sense...."

" I mean, I want him to be fun! He is a shy kind of fun, a little spontaneous, but not too much. But I want someone who is outgoing and fun like me! Who would love to have fun at a dance with me, and not stand around waiting to be offered to dance... I mean he is great with my family and i like his.... I just can't see myself marrying him"

"Well perhaps you are slowly answering your own question...."

" I don't even really miss him all the time..... people in love miss each other. I don't miss him like i think i should. "

" Sometimes we have to do what is best for our own judgment, not what the right thing is for someone else's feelings.... not that we have to be rude or pugnacious, but we do have the right to say when we dislike something."

"Yeah, i mean, he is the sweetest, and I think he really does like me alot, I just really feel bad I don't like him back... I think I need to not see him anymore so he can find a girl that will appreciate him in more of a way than in friendship."


Conversation over. 

What do you think?  I left the rest blank, because I want to see what you would say to her. Please address emails with the subject line "Friends"  or comment your response :)

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